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365 results.

Per Vas Nefandum (Wand of Uranus)

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on June 17, 2013 at 12:00 am

2013-06-17-Per-Vas-Nefadum

In Russia, a stereotype exists stating that Siberia breeds weird and often dangerous cults. This might have something to do with the fact that cultists often got sent there as a punishment. Siberia’s own paranoia over cults and the high number of shamans who are not affiliated with organized religions, also contribute to such prejudices.

The particular brand of cultist activity that Lechy, Sasha and Dima share, amalgamates Crowleyian spiritism with Chucki shamanism and Slavic Mythology. As the officially atheistic Soviet Union crumbled, neopaganism often emerged as a way for believers to reconnect with their ethnic roots and national identity. It was also a great excuse for rebellious young people to indulge in socially unacceptable sex.

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Stupid Gringo

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on June 10, 2013 at 12:00 am

2013-06-10-Stupid-Gringo

There is really no word in English that can be used as a direct equivalent for the Russian word “amerikos.” While “Stupid American,” “Yank,” or “Yankee” seem to be logical translations, they really can’t capture the snide tone or the lack of regional-specificity of the Russian slur. For this reason, when I translated the word, I chose to use the Spanish loan-word, “gringo“. While gringo, may vary in offensiveness depending on where it’s used in the Spanish-speaking world, usage in the United States tends to be unequivocally offensive, though not so much that anyone is going to get punched over it. Additionally, I added the adjective,”stupid” to indicate that the word, is slightly more offensive than another common slur, “amer.”  I was tempted to use “dumbass gringo,” but opted not to. With that modification, the meaning of that phrase would have been closer to yet another mild Russian anti-American slur, “pindos.” As with “amerikos,” “pindos” is a snide insult that isn’t unforgivable, but does have a sharper bite. “Pindos,” is a corruption Spanish word, “pendejo” which means “pubic hair” or more figuratively, “dumbass.”

On a totally separate note, If you know who the real Bubba Smith is, then you probably understand why Tsar’s just being an asshole at this point.

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Don’t Call Me a Negro, White Boy

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on June 3, 2013 at 12:00 am

2013-06-03-Dont-Call-Me-A-Negro-Whitey--

Commentary

Welcome back to Rasputin Barxotka! Now that the hiatus is finally over, I am starting off the new season of this webcomic with a very explosive page — even more so than Thomas’s previous page. Calling the conversation in today’s installment a cultural misunderstanding, would be like calling a nuclear bomb a firecracker.

If you want to know why Tsar calls himself black, the check out today’s latest blog post on Caucasian blacks.  I first encountered the topic when I saw a CNN report in the late 1990′s on the phenomenon of “white” youths who self-identified as black in Russia after the fall of the Soviet Union. I remember how adamant these Caucasians were about being black and oppressed, and how convinced the reporter was that they were just young Russians trying to emulate African-American rap subculture.  Something didn’t quite seem right, so I had to investigate. What I found, left me completely flabbergasted.

On a somewhat related topic, I did say that the previous page would end up as canon.

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What If This Were An American 80′s Sitcom?

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on April 1, 2013 at 12:00 am

2013-4-01-What-If

The most insane part about this page is that it is not at all far from the truth on how “typical” Romani are depicted by American television productions. Case in point:

Thanks to Thomas Overbeck of Times Like This for having the balls to create this brilliantly pointed piece of satire, even if laughing at it makes me feel like I’m going to hell.  Then again, that’s the more or less the point of it. And so, our special Rasputin Barxotka mini-series begins…

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…tomorrow.  This page is just part of the Webcomic Underdog’s April Fool’s Webcomic Switcheroo.

 

So Like, April’s Fools!

All jokes aside, this page is still 100% canon.  Find out how the hell that’s even possible when the regular series restarts in June.

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
View of a large house, presumably in the suburbs, with a motorcycle parked in the front. Overlay of the title The Tsar of Pinewood Hills.

Narrator
Next...on the all new...The Tsar of Pinewood Hills

Frame 2
Tsar is dressed in a gray shirt and brown vest with a brown bandana on his black hair. Behind him is his daughter, Olivia, with brown hair and dressed in gray pants and a lavender shirt. Next to Olivia is Ryan, a blonde-haired boy in a gray NIN shirt and blue jeans.

Narrator
Olivia's brought a boyfriend home! But will Tsarkias approve of him?

Olivia to Tsar
Daddy, I'd like you to meet Ryan!

Ryan to Tsar
Hi, uh... Mister Olivia's father!

Audience laughing
Ha ha ha ha ha

Frame 3
Tsar turns to talk to Olivia and Ryan, his hands on his hips. Ryan seems nervous about meeting Tsar.

Tsar to Ryan
You don't sound too sure of yourself! I really don't think you're being honest about your intentions with my daughter!

Ryan to Tsar
Oh! Well... uh... I'd never do anything to hurt her!

Frame 4
Tsar is alone in the view now, and is working on unbuttoning his pants.

Tsar to Ryan (off-screen) Good, because if you do anything to bring marime upon my Olivia...

Frame 5
View of Tsar's backside, his pants low enough to show off his groin. Olivia face palms and Ryan is shocked and surprised.

Tsar to Ryan
...I will think nothing of beating you down, and then taking my cock and forcefully violating your nether regions with it!

Ryan to Tsar
AHHGGHHH! Uh... you have nothing to worry about, sir!

Olivia to Tsar
DADDY! Ugh... not again!

Audience laughing
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Frame 6
Tsar has presumably pulled his pants back up and buttoned them. His demeanor has lightened up a bit, and Ryan looks momentarily comfortable.

Tsar to Ryan
Well, Ryan, I think you're a nice guy, and Olivia seems to think highly of you, so I'll give you a chance.

Ryan to Tsar
Th-thank you, Sir!

Frame 7
Tsar drops a bombshell.

Tsar to Ryan
And if this date goes well, I'll arrange to have you marry her immediately!

Ryan to Tsar, rather stunned
Wh-what? Marry her???

Olivia to Tsar, mortified
Daddy, stop! You're embarrassing me!!!

Audience laughing
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Frame 8
Tsar is now holding a large gun and he and Olivia watch Ryan run for the door.

Tsar to Ryan
Yes! You've got a sizable dowry, right? It better be as big as this gun!

Ryan to Tsar
AAAAAGH!!!

Audience laughing
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Frame 9
Tsar looks a little surprised, and Olivia is still mortified.

Tsar to Olivia
Well, I guess he wasn't really husband material.

Olivia to Tsar
Seriously, Dad? I'm only thirteen!

Audience laughing
Ha ha ha ha ha

Frame 10
Olivia turns away from Tsar, annoyed.

Tsar to Olivia
And that is the perfect age for you to be given for marriage! It's Roma tradition, so don't even think about breaking from it!

Olivia to Tsar
Ugghh... Why do I have to be the only one in my school that's married?!

Audience laughing
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

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Douchebag Rider In A Moscovite Traffic Jam

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on March 18, 2013 at 12:00 am

2012-03-18-Douchebag-Rider-In-Moscovite-Traffic-Jam

Commentary

Tsar’s road idiocy is mild compared to some of the daily insanity that actually happens on Moscow roads.

Farewell For Now

And, this shall be the last regular update until we finish the Chapter 1 archive rearrangement, and some other things that need to be taken care of.  Rasputin Barxotka should be up and running again by June 1st, 2013.

Don’t want to miss a single thing?  Here are your options:

  • Sign-up for Rasputin Barxotka updates via email by making a comment below and checking the appropriate box, or by using the form on the left sidebar.
  • Subscribe by RSS
  • Follow us on Twitter
  • Like us on Facebook
  • Check the blog for updates every Monday

Thank you for reading and we hope to see you again in June,
Vas, Mandarr, Loki and Skaja

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Bald guy leans out of his car and flashes Tsar his middle finger.

Frame 2
Tsar rides by, returning the gesture.

Frame 3
From Tsar's point of view, looking at the road and the cars ahead. He's speeding.

Frame 4
Tsar approaches an intersection and throws his arms up in frustration. A babushka, dressed in red with a red kerchief with yellow dots, gives Tsar the finger as she crosses the street.

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Motoring (What’s Your Price For Flight?)

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on March 11, 2013 at 12:00 am

2013-03-11-Motoring

Don’t mind Tsar. He’s just taking the morning commute to Moscow.

Next week, the Spring Season hiatus begins with our final comic for the time being.Be sure to stay tuned to the blog, because many exciting things will be happening as the Chapter 1 archive rearrangement takes place.

↓ Transcript
FRAME 1
Tsar is riding his blue motorcycle out his secluded rural home.

FRAME 2
Tsar is riding bike across the rural landscape. An unicorn is standing in the foreground.


FRAME 3
Aerial view of Tsar's motorcycle riding onto a paved road.

FRAME 4
Tsar rides past Moskovsky and drag races a rusty orange car full of youths. Tsar and one of the youths flash horns at each other.

Youth in the front seat to Tsar:
Your bike rocks, metalhead!

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Bubble Pop That Cap

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on March 4, 2013 at 12:00 am

2012-03-03-Bubble-Pop-That-Cap

Might this have something to do with Tsar’s bad day?  All will be explained in good time.

↓ Transcript
FRAME 1
Superkiller shoots the Rival Gang Boss in the mouth repeatedly, as he blows a bubble with his chewing gum. Girly-Girl watches silently.

FRAME 2
Close-up of Girly-Girl

Girly-Girl to Superkiller:
Remind me never to turn down gum from you.

FRAME 3
Superkiller is standing in front of Fucking Bastard, a tall blond man with short hair, trying to act innocent.

Superkiller to Girly-Girl
That bastard was a petty gang boss. He needed to be off the streets anyway.

FRAME 4
Closeup of Fucking Bastard

Fucking Bastard to Superkiller
If you weren't a fugitive and a hitman, I would swear that you're still a cop.

FRAME 4
Closeup of Superkiller

Superkiller to Fucking Bastard
To be fair, I do miss being a cop.

FRAME 5
Superkiller, Girly-Girl and Fucking Bastard slowly walk away from the scene of the crime.

Girly-Girl to Superkiller
So, is anyone else pissing you off today?

FRAME 6
At his home Tsar tries to start his motorcycle. He seems frustrated.

Tsar to self
START! You piece of shit bike.

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