Archive for 001-bahktale-vasquez-hates-camello

71 results.

The Challenge

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 24, 2009 at 12:01 am

comic-2009-12-04-The-Challenge.jpg

How sweet!  Marbie and Lucky match.

That’s the end of this chapter.

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↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Marlborina and Lucky look lovingly at each other. Camello shouts and rages in the background.

CAMELLO To Lucky
LUCKY!!! WHERE DO YOU WORK TOMORROW?

LUCKY To Camello
Field 14. Why?

Frame 2
Camello is still shouting and raging, though Marlborina and Lucky turn to look at him.

CAMELLO To Lucky
I’M GONNA MURDER YOU!!!

LUCKY To Camello
That’s nice. See you then.

Frame 3
CAMELLO To Lucky
AND DON’T BRING YOUR BATTLE AX OF A WIFE!!!

LUCKY To Camello
Wouldn’t dream of it.

Frame 4
MARLBORINA To Camello
What’s the matter, Camel-Toe? Too much of a fag to fight a girl?

LUCKY To Marlborina
To be fair, you do punch hard.

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Vodka Strength

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 23, 2009 at 12:01 am

comic-2009-12-02-Vodka-Strength.jpg

Russians who drink love their vodka regardless of ethic extraction.  Even when the Soviet government hoped it would go away, it never did.  If you’ve ever been around a Russian who drinks and an ample supply of vodka, it’s quite the experience.

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Camello beats up Man 1.

Frame 2
Camello continues beating up Man 1.

Frame 3
Camello angrily looks down at Man 1.

CAMELLO To Man 1 (off-screen)
Who is spreading these bullshit rumors?

Frame 4
TATIANA To Camello (off-screen)
Camello, honey, the Marquis has no kind words for you.

Frame 5
CAMELLO To Tatiana (off-screen)
He should have killed me.

Frame 6
Tatiana holds out a vodka bottle to Camello.

TATIANA To Camello
Are you going to finish your vodka? You’ll need it to be strong?

CAMELLO To Tatiana
True, and an empty bottle is a good weapon.

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Not A Liar

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 22, 2009 at 12:01 am

comic-2009-11-30-Not-a-Liar.jpg

Time for an honor fight.

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Two men are talking in the background, while Camello looks down at the ground.

MAN 1 To Man 2
That reminds me. Did you hear about the fight at the Marquis’s wedding?

Frame 2
Camello looks surprised.

MAN 1 (off-screen) To Man 2 (off-screen)
Camello was sayin’ that he screwed Marlborina.

MAN 2 (off-screen) To Man 1 (off-screen)
He’s a lying thief, just like his father was.

Frame 3
Camello gets angry.

MAN 1 (off-screen) To Man 2 (off-screen)
I wonder why the elders haven’t expelled him?

MAN 2 (off-screen) To Man 1 (off-screen)
He had protection. But now, Bahktale Vasquez hates him, so I’m sure that will change soon.

Frame 4
Camello grabs Man 1 to rough him up.

CAMELLO To Man 1
I am not a liar and Lucky does not hate me, you goatfucker!

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Disgraced

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 21, 2009 at 12:01 am

comic-2009-11-26-Disgraced-King.jpg

In many strict and traditional Rroma cultures, infertility is the worst fate that a woman can suffer from a social perspective, as reproduction is highly valued.  Infertility can be used as grounds for abandoning a wife in these groups.  For a woman in a situation where her husband rejects her sexually, gossip is often her only weapon against being socially shunned.  By spreading a rumor of a husband’s lack of sexual interest, a woman may be able to protect herself from the ridicule and humiliation that a lack of children could bring her.

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Camello stands with his eyes closed

NARRATOR 1 To Audience
I thought that gypsies killed each other when dishonor happened.

NARRATOR 2 To Audience
As a modern Rrom, I view honor killings as silly and barbaric anachronisms.

Frame 2
Camello looks off to his right.

NARRATOR 2
I also had a great deal of sympathy for Camello.

MAN 1 (off-screen) To Man 2
Isn’t that Gurkha Basma’s loser kid?

Frame 3
Two men are talking in the background, while Camello looks at the ground.

MAN 2 To Man 1 Yep.
Married for four years and he still can’t get his wife pregnant.

NARRATOR 1 To Audience
Why? He sounds like a horrible human being.

Frame 4
TATIANA To people
Guys! His parents and brothers are dead, and his uncle married him off to that awful witch. Let him mourn his lover’s marriage to his dead father’s friend.


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Sex Addict

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 20, 2009 at 12:01 am

comic-2009-11-23-Sex-Addict.jpg

That’s wheat in the background.  We have buckets of wheat at home.  It’s one of the weird perks of having a farmer for a husband.

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Lucky looks anguished.

LUCKY To Audience
Why didn’t I listen?

Frame 2
LUCKY To Audience
I made her promise to never screw other men or wear tampons ever again. In exchange, I promised, on my word of honor, to never screw other women ever again. She said I was insane.

Frame 3
LUCKY To Audience
”I can do it,” she said, “but, you’re a sex-addict, Lucky! You won’t last the week. It’s not like white chicks are real people anyway. I don’t mind you messing with them as long as you don’t knock them up.” I told my wife, “Wife, I have self-control!”

Frame 4
Lucky looks up, panicked.

LUCKY To Audience
Bad move.

[ 2 Comments ]

Sluts

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 19, 2009 at 12:01 am

comic-2009-11-19-Sluts.jpg

This is definitely the biggest clue that Lucky is not as much of a traditionalist as you might have initially assumed.

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Marlborina’s eyes widen.

MARLBORINA To Lucky (off-screen)
Do I have a choice?
LUCKY (off-screen) To Marlborina
OH HELL NO!

Frame 2
Lucky looks jovial. Marlborina’s eyes are still wide.

LUCKY To Marlborina
Unless, you do want an annulment.

MARLBORINA Lucky
No thanks.

Frame 3
Lucky winks.

LUCKY To Marlborina (off-screen)
Good!

Frame 4
Marlborina cuddles up to Lucky. Lucky looks to the audience with a thumbs up.

MARLBORINA To Lucky
So, Best-Husband-in-the-World, what’s the deal?

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The Truth About A Virgin

by Vas Littlecrow Wojtanowicz on July 18, 2009 at 12:01 am

comic-2009-11-16-The-Truth-About-a-Virgin.jpg

It’s easy to understand how a pre-marital shagging session with a first cousin could be construed as slutty.  Understanding how wearing a tampon could possibly be considered to be slutty is a bit more of a stretch.  Yet, too many cultures and religions see the tampon as an unsanitary defiler of purity.  To this day, young women worry about tampons’ effect on their virginity.

↓ Transcript
Frame 1
Lucky looks angrily at Marlborina.

MARLBORINA To Lucky
Hello! did you stab Camello?

Frame 2
Lucky looks down at Marlborina, as she looks stunned.

LUCKY To Marlborina
No, but he did explain tampons. You slut.

Frame 3
Marlborina cries.

LUCKY To Marlborina (off-screen)
I am glad that we didn’t consummate this sham marriage, girl.

Frame 4
Marlborina cries and looks down.

MARLBORINA To Lucky (off-screen)
Marquis Vasquez, I’ve dishonored my family. Kill me.

Frame 5
LUCKY To Marlborina
No... I used to be a slut too, so I understand. Shall we make a deal, darling?


[ No Comments ]

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