Cast of Characters
Leading Cast (Clicking on thumbnails may reveal spoilers.)
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- Tsarkias (Tsar) Smertovich Rasputin — Camello’s former bodyguard, Chechen separatist and Russian-Born British spy.
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- Bahktale (Lucky) Strikes Vasquez Drina – A womanizing rake who makes a rather unpleasant discovery about himself.
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- Camello Basma – The only surviving member of the Basma crime family. His name is pronounced “Kah-Meh-Yoh.”
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- Getter Must — A freelance beauty
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- Lech (Lechy) Simonych Merkachev – A relationship specialist.
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- Alexander “Sasha the Superkiller” Solonik: He’s the Greek God of Russian Hitmen.
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- Igor Dmitri (Dima Satan) Shapinov – A musician, an upir, Sasha’s ex and Zoya’s fuckbuddy.
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- Alexander (Sasha Saatchyan) Normanovich Kitoboyev – A masochistic child of nature and musician. Dima’s ex and Zoya’s plaything.
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- Zoya Leonidva Malama – A gleeful slut and a musician. Considers Dmitri and Sasha to be family.
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- Marlborina – Nicotash’s First Feminist and Lucky’s First Wife
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- The Juliettas – The Ruling Family of Nicotash Headed by Romeo Julietta
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- Mikhail Mihailevich Mikhailev – A linguistics expert for the Soviet government’s paranomal science’s department. Camello’s best friend and chief partner-in-crime.
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- Babushkas The assorted old ladies who keep Russia running smoothly
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- Gloria – Camello’s wife.
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- Tatiana (Tits) Vasiliyeva – A barmaid and a fan of Camello who wants to get into his pants.
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- Dorotnya Vasquezova — Lucky’s favorite Russian woman.
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- Toro Vasquez Baxt – The Eldest Member of Nicotash and Lucky’s Father
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- Arkady the Accordion Man – The Second Oldest Man In Nicotash
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- The Almighty Creator – An overworked, underpaid artist who is solely responsible for the fate of its realm.
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- Hielope Aquaria – The only thing certain about her is that she resides inside Sasha.
Other Characters
- Ace: Dmitri Satan’s Stepmom
- Doctors: Keeping Russia healthy as they deal with disturbing and unpleasant stuff on a daily basis
- Extraterrestrials: If they don’t want to devour your flesh, they probably will get you high and do horrible things with tentacles
- Mobsters: Russia’s most powerful and efficient economic engine
- Rroma People: Russia’s second most oppressed group
- Scientists: Unscrupulous dabblers in things men are not meant to know
- Spirits: Demon, Angels and Other Supernatural Thingies
- The State: In Soviet Russia… wait, what Soviet Russia? We are Federation now, like in Star Trek. Live long and prosper Russian Federation!
- Yankee Capitalist Scum: Interested only in bodily functions, profiteering, fake boobs and getting fat; otherwise known as Americans
- Russian Chicks: There’s a reason why these are the porn industry’s darlings, aside from a living in a kleptocracy where sexism, exploitation and poverty run rampant.
- Geni, Olivia and Cain: Tsar helped raise them.
- Norm: A crazy shaman.
