If I Ever Made a Rasputin Barxotka Film, This Is Who I Would Cast – Part 2
Sequels and Pictures
Last year, I made some pretty wild movie speculations in If I Ever Made a Rasputin Barxotka Film, This Is Who I Would Cast. Since then, a whole bunch of characters of new have been added, and I will be adding few new ones in the coming months. Before I get to the sequel of this fun blog post, I’ll start things up with my latest Rasputin Barxotka painting featuring Getter, Superkiller and Tsar. It took me most of today to finish it.
Here’s more of my dream cast:
- Tsar: Casting Camello’s brother-in-crime is an insane challenge. The actor for this role requires an aura of sleazy charm and he absolutely must be a competent gymnast who can dance. As if that weren’t enough of an obstacle to finding qualified actor, the person who plays Tsar must also be able to successfully play a vengeful thug who really just wants to settle down and be happily married. Valeriy Nikilaev is not well known in the United States, but he really has the right vibe and he is a bonafide star in Russia, which would add a bit of extra cultural realism to the character.
- Getter: Charlize Theron‘s acting range is absolutely phenomenal and her filmography speaks for itself. Charlize also oozes sexual confidence; a must for playing a high class prostitute like Getter. As if that weren’t great enough, this actress can pull off an action role like a boss.
- Tatiana: The busty barmaid seems often seems to vacillate between dramatic intensity and comic relief as Camello’s confidant and overzealous fan girl. Naturally any actress playing this role must be able to have a wide range, as well as as Tatiana’s uniquely exotic look. Veteran actress Courtney Ford, fits the bill perfectly.
- Superkiller: The first person I thought of for bringing to life my vision of Alex Solonik was Tom Cruise. I hate Tom Cruise and the guy is too old and annoying for the role of the introverted and overachieving young assassin. So, instead I searched for a younger look-a-like with action film chops and mixed martial arts skills. Honestly, there’s no contest. Beefcake Sean Faris is the only guy who can play Superkiller, as far as I am concerned. I am not totally impressed by this young man’s acting skills, but considering that Superkiller is less talk and more action, he would probably be able to pull it off.
- Romeo Julietta: It was shamefully easy to choose the best actor for role of the Nicotash tribe’s chieftain. When I designed Romeo, I imagined him as British Rromani actor Bob Hoskins with a hat, a tacky gold chain and a toupee. Hoskins’s general “fuck you” attitude is perfect for the character, and his Rroma heritage doesn’t hurt either. He’s brings me a lot of nostalgia and he’s a fantastic actor to boot.
- Gloria: Oscar-winning actress Christina Ricci might seem like a weird choice to play Camello’s mostly toothless and always combative wife, but she’s perfect. If you’ve seen her in Monster, it’s easy to see how she can be transformed from a glamorous leading lady to a poverty-stricken hot mess in an abusive relationship.
That’s it for now. Do you think these are good cast choices, or do you think you could do better? If you are a comic creator or fiction writer, who would you pick to play your characters? Let me know!
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